Just another weekend on the horizon

I wonder what this weekend will hold for me this time round...

I am sick of drinking, sick of hangovers... in fact, I would give nearly anything to rest my bones, and just do what the hell I feel like.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekends, and remember to respect the wishes of those around you.

Cheers

You want a fucking blog entry!?

Here's your blog entry.

I am a person, unable to control any aspect of my life. Work, love, music, fun... it's all one big fucking loaded cannon waiting to fuck the nearest person up.

Wanna know something? I have a decent PC. I had a decent childhood (or so I think). I have a decent fucking life. I can play guitar better than anyone my age that I've met. I have a beautiful girlfriend. I have a job that pays well. I have a warm bed to sleep in. I have food to eat every day. I have many plutonic object with which i can entertain myself. I have friends that I've made on the internet. I have all this.

I truly believe that I'm the one of the only people left on earth that gives a fuck about other people. Yet my actions are so self centred? Everything I do in life, appears to be for my own benifit.

For fuck sakes, i can't even finish this entry. It just goes to show, nothing on earth makes fucking sense. NOTHING. I have all this, but I need to fucking complain. I am the fucking personification of fucking a spoilt brat. I have all these things, yet I fucking dismiss them and believe that my whole life is down the drain.

That's when my brain shorts out.

like every child, I thought I meant something to the world. I thought I was important. I started playing guitar, and I seriously thought I would rule the world with my talents. I couldn't understand why people didn't have this faith in themselves.
But now, I feel useless. I feel like nothing matters, and I am a waste of energy. I feel like there's no reason to carry on, even with music.
It's almost as if I don't want to make music, because I don't want people to think I am selfish. I don't want people to think that I want recognition for my talent. I feel like when I play in front of other people, they think i am seeking attention.

There is a tiny bit inside of me, telling me that I am still this amazing person. Telling me that I am worth something to the world. But this part of me is just me clinging on to lost hopes. I have grown up to find that there's always somebody better. There is always a replacement.

And then I feel that I can be replaced. My girl could replace me with an even more talented, better looking, more considerate, more perfect person.

If I had to start a band, I would just be judged for my mistakes.

...

Fucking blogs.

Tough cookie

I really can't decide.

Should I be nice to my fellow work folk today or not? Will the outcome of the company depend on my mood towards the people here? It's just that some people can't follow a simple request, just because they feel they don't 'owe' you anything.

This guy standing a meter away from me, this very moment, has made everyone in the office coffee besides me. He even fucking made Louis coffee, who isn't even here today. That's right, he is making a fucking absent employee coffee, and not me.

UPDATE: I just stood up, exclamated my disgust towards this behaviour, accused a few people of idiocy, and made myself a cup of coffee. I must say, the coffee is good. Like dew drops on a fresh summer morning.

UPDATE: Handing someone an email adressed to them. Do they see me? Do they see this impatient employee, bursting with rage, extending his arm tirelessly across the desk, motioning for some response...

No. I have to stand up, walk over to this persons desk, wait for their attention, and finally hand it to them with a highly annoyed look.

...

But hey, I don't give a fuck. I have bigger things to worry about then some employees at my company. Who gives a fuck what they think, right?

All in all, I'm smiling. Waiting for the day to end, once again, so that I can return to my blissfully comforting spot with my girlfriend. Tonight is dungeon siege night, and that's enough to put a foolish grin above my chin.

Bye for now, and please excuse the lack of comedy in todays entry.

Once again obsessed.

Ah.

"Yo someoneelse!"
"Yes?"
"What's up?"
"Initiating warp drives"
"What?"
"Power up the warp drives, initiate data transfer"
"Hey someoneelse, what the hell are you on about?"
"Hey dude, maybe these components might come to good use on Planet Telos?"
"???"
"Yeah I think the droid suffered considerable damage after the heist"
"??????"
"Perhaps I could force-persuade her? Or do you think she has the power to resist the dark side?"

Yes, boys and girls, I'm obsessed. Yet another time-consuming RPG has entered my life: KOTOR 2.

Sex, drugs and rock and roll? Nah, just give me my fucking lightsaber already dammit!!!

...

This weekend I'm on my way to the Transkei (South Africa, in case you are some foreign freak) to visit my girlfriends best friend. Should be awesome, he is a really interesting dude and I'm sure a lot of fun will be had. There's only ONE problem...

No KOTOR 2.

To those who read this, have a brilliant day. To those who didn't...
YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!

Cheers

Bleh

Bah! Work!

It's OK though cause I have no reason to fret. It's pretty great when you feel like you have the day under control, everything runs smoothly and- "What? What's that you say boss? You'd like reports of financing for cleaning over the last eight years? In the next hour?"

Ah, such is life.

On a lighter note... I'm getting into KOTOR finally. I'm enjoying it thouroughly... there's just something about RPG's that does it for me. Probably the mystery surrounding the mechanics of the games or some long string of words like that.

I'm also curious... do blogs just go unnoticed? Do people actually come here and read what I have to put down? If so, then why?

"Step away from the boobies... nice and slow..."

PC gained, PC lost...

On and off. On and Off. On and off.

Sound like fun? Perhaps to a compulsive ecstasy addict, but not me.
That is what I've been doing with my computer at home these days... switch it on, does it work? Nope. Try again.

Even the new PC. So I'm guessing I spent all that cash on something that didn't need 'cash spending' on or something a little more literate than that.

Don't bother reading any further, I simply don't feel like having anyone listen to the rest...

...

Today I leave at 3 o clock! Might I say "Kick fucking ass"?

An eventful weekend...

What a weekend. In a way...

It was great though, got to spend some quality time with my love, and I finally got a computer that actually kicks serious arse.

Other than that, met another online contact last night... it seems that most of the people I meet these days emerge from the lurky internet. It's not such a bad place after all...

In other news, my aunt shot herself last night. It's the second person (sort of) close to me that has killed themselves in the last year.
I just hope and pray that my cousins can get through this, so all my love and wishes get sent that way this morning.

And to those thinking of murdering themselves, think fucking twice before you ruin the lives of those around you.

...

And those with loved ones, cherish every fucking moment with them... it might just be your last.

Ag man fok

Well, that's that. I'm getting my new shit today at half past one!

Ahhhh

This weekend is looking good so far, I get to take my beautiful girl out for a few drinks or something... I'm just looking forward to relaxing for a change again. These days everything seems so busy and time just doesn't allow all the things I want to get done each day.

Don't know whether it's a good thing or not.

Other than that, life looks pretty good besides all the mountainous obstacles in my way.

...

A man walks into a bar.

A woman walks into a bar.

HAR HAR HAR! That's about the funniest thing i could come up with today, aside from this comment.

A piece of cheese just for you

I love Friday!

I get to leave work at one, I get to take it easy at work and I ge- SHIT! MY computer is still broken!
Damn I kind of forgot about that. My life is at an end. My death is near. My head is hurting.

Nah, things are looking pretty good actually. My brilliant girlfriend came up with the idea of telling my father that I was going to get a credit card in order to buy a new motherboard and CPU. So, I told my dad about it and I could tell by his expression that he didn't like the idea at all...

So I asked if he wouldn't let me use his credit card and I would pay him back and...

VOILA! It seems that today I will be heading to ye ol computer shoppe to get some 'hardware'

The only problem is that Murphey doesn't really like me much and I'm afraid once I get the new stuff I'll realise it was in fact a faulty power supply or something stupid...

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that life is good, no matter how you look at it.

Smile dammit!

Ah... the end of today draws near!

Just another two hours...

Another two hours and I can go home! I am especially looking forward to bumping my head on the desk while trying to fix my PC. Perhaps this has something to do with the Transkei herbs I have stashed in my cupboard?

Point is, for every action there is a reaction.

Examples:

Action: P.C. breaks
Reaction: Light joint

Action: Drink beer
Reaction: Smile

Action: Light joint
Reaction: P.C. breaks

...

I might add that today is the first day I've ever used a *spits* blog. I kind of like it. It's like a diary for straight guys.
I do feel a slight twinge of gayness in my right eye, but I'm sure that has more to do with the chocolate milk I drank earlier than anything else.

I truly hope my love is doing ok today... it sounds like she's had a really rough one.
If only I could come face to face with the bitches on the bus that make her job so miserabel...

"All the bitches in the bus go YO-OH..."

I guess that's that for today, be sure to tune in tomorrow for more...

... TALES OF INTEREST!

cheers voyeurs!

A quick message...

Please feel free to comment on any of my entries, no matter what you have to say.

Cheers!

Another day!? Yup...

Why it's Thursday! Wow... I was under the impression it was Monday. How am I doing on this fine Thursay, you ask? Well... My computer is broken, my girlfriend is depressed, my lungs are hurting... All in all it's just your average day in my life. ... The love of my life is my biggest concern though. She is my one and only, my everything. She is what I live for these days... Everything else has kind of gone into submission (No, I have no idea what it means) and I'm concentrating on this very important part of my life. My girlfriend is such an amazing woman. She is unique in every way, and she is beautiful on the outside and in. The only problem is that she doesn't see this. She has a low self esteem, and she often feels worthless to those around her. Little does she realise she is one of the most talented people I've ever met. She amazes me in every way. I met her on the internet a few months ago, and yesterday was our four month anniversary. . I guess there's no point in putting this on paper (well, metaphorically on paper...) but a little part of me is wishing she could find this blog of mine herself... without me showing it to her. I wish she could understand how important she is, without it seeming like I'm just trying to cheer her up. Oh well! This letter will self destruct in 125552336 years...